The first thing I read this morning was a article some friends of mine posted on Facebook. If you would like to read the article you can find it here Rage Againest the Minivan. It made me think of a lot of things. First off of all the thousands of children out there who don't have homes. All the homes out there that could easily give one of these children a home. (Ours included. Not sure if that will happen though. God?) But most of all it made me feel lucky. Lucky that I was one of those children that was given a home. A wonderful home. Sure my family had our issues, what family doesnt. My family faced some real hardships too. Regardless of that I was very lucky and I realized just how very lucky I was. This is my story of how I felt about being adopted.
The only thing I remember about the actual adoption day is just a feeling. Utter and total boredom. Seriously thats all my child memory remembers. being bored out of my mind. I know that my family had a adoption party. Which I dont remember. I do know that I instantly felt a part of their family. There was no trial run or waiting. I became their child immediately. Loved. They never made me feel like I wasnt one of them. Except for one instance ,by my Father, when I was much older and he was in total despair. Thats another story though. I was always introduced as their daughter never as their adoptive daughter. I was a Grable from the get go and feel I was always meant to be their child even though they didnt make me, they did make me who I am today.
My Mother and most adults always made it a point in telling me that I was special. Special because my parents CHOSE me. Me. I was picked by them and that really made me feel good. They had books they would read to me about what it means to be adopted and how there really is nothing wrong with that. As a young kid I never felt like there was anything wrong with it. I did have kids tell me "Oh, your Mom didnt like you." "Your Mom and dad didnt want you." "Why would they just give you away? Didnt they love you?" Im sure I would run all of this by my Mom and she would reassure me that yes my parents loved me and to just ignore what they said. After all I was chosen and they were not.
I had my questions as I got older. Like did they love me? Why didnt they want me? What do they look like? Do they think of me? But I don't recall ever feeling like I was abandoned or given up by them just that they couldnt take care of me. And I think the reason I never felt those ways is because of the great job my parents did of making me feel so wanted, loved, and cherished. they made a point of always making me feel a part of them to the point that what these other people thought or did didnt really matter. I had everything I needed right there with them. I was still curious about who these other parents were though.
It had to do with wanting to know WHO I was and WHERE I came from. Do they have brown hair. Are their eyes green? Are they tall/short? Do I look like her or do I look like him? and on and on and on...When you are adopted a lot of times you dont get those answers and that can be a bit hard to deal with. Everyone wants to know those answers. But most adopted people dont get to know those answers. I eventually would learn those answers. I have met both of my biological parents and look like both of them. I have Chris's eyes. Kathys build. But other then that I am nothing like those people. WHO I am is a Grable. WHO I am is what they raised me to be. I am very happy they put me up for adoption because they didnt love themselves therefore they couldnt have loved me. I have no contact with them now, except with chris, once in a blue moon he will say hi on myspace. They gave me life and some of my looks but other then that they gave me nothing. Where as the Grables gave me everything.
Im happy I was adopted. I am sure I had moments where it bothered me and I just don't remember. I was very lucky where so many other children are not so lucky.If I could have one prayer answered in my lifetime it would be that EVERY child out there that has no home could be blessed with a home as I was blessed. Not only that but that they could feel love, family, safety, security, but most of all to have parents.
Howard and Busby family. I am blessed to have you as my friends as all of your adopted and biological children are blessed to have you as parents. I wish that there were more people in this world like you all.
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